Dear Mom.....

Lately I have been feeling something protruding under these pink things in my mouth. At first I thought, cool a bump, something more for me to chew on. But then one night there was pain, excruciating pain. All you did was try to rock me to sleep, sing to me, feed me, you were useless. Get with the program. The next day you finally figured out what I was talking about when I bit your finger. Yup, there was something jagged growing in my mouth, dangerous I would say. What kind of mother are you for allowing this to happen to me? Is it some kind of infection? This is from those immunizations isn't it, I have done my research. Now, even though you know about it, you still do nothing. While the grape stuff you give me tastes pretty good I'm pretty sure it isn't doing what it is supposed to because this jagged object, lets call it ned, continues to grow. Now, I have found some benefits. I have noticed when you are feeding me and I bite, you make some funny noises so I guess I can assume that you like this ned so I will continue to bite until the problem is resolved. I have a sneaky suspicion that more will be more joining him. I fear if we wait, they will band together and take over my mouth. Now, lets get it together and take care of this. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Molly

P.S. You and dad are looking pretty tired these days, you two really should get some sleep.